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Divorce

The ending of a relationship is a loss, even if your marriage wasn’t perfect. Divorce can throw your world off balance. Navigating the emotional complexities of divorce can feel overwhelming. Therapists can be a valuable resource during this tough time, helping individuals and families to cope with a major life event

Common Divorce-Related Issues

If you and your partner decide to separate, there are several aspects of divorce that couples have to navigate: 

  • Emotional distress
  • Financial strain 
  • Child custody disputes 
  • Communication breakdown 
  • Parenting challenges 
  • Moving on

Symptoms of Divorce Stress

Major life transitions like divorce can leave you emotionally and physically drained. Symptoms of divorce stress include: 

Emotional Distress:

  • Sadness
  • Anger
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Guilt
  • Confusion
  • Loneliness
  • Feeling overwhelmed

Physical Symptoms:

  • Changes in sleep patterns  
  • Changes in appetite 
  • Headaches
  • Fatigue
  • Muscle tension

Behavioral Symptoms:

  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Withdrawal from social activities
  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Increased conflict with others

What Is the Hardest Stage of Divorce?

The hardest part of divorce can vary significantly depending on your circumstances. However, some stages of the divorce that many find particularly tough include: 

  • Separation: The initial period of separation can be full of uncertainty, grief, and anger. The emotional rollercoaster can feel very intense and dealing with living arrangements and potential child custody issues adds even more stress to the situation. 
  • Legal Process: Dividing assets, debts, and discussing child custody and support can be a very emotionally charged experience. 
  • Letting Go: It can be difficult to emotionally detach from a former spouse, move on, and think about your future. 

Other factors like children and financial strain can further add to emotional turmoil and uncertainty of the future. There’s really no right or wrong answer to which stage of divorce is the hardest as it’s a highly individual experience. Seeking practical and emotional support through therapy, friends and family can make navigating divorce more manageable.

Trauma From a Divorce

Unfortunately, not all divorces end in mutual respect for a partner and individuals can experience trauma from a divorce. There’s all sorts of reasons why a couple end a relationship including infidelity, too much conflict, lack of intimacy, and financial stress. Your personal situation can be incredibly unique and demanding to process. 

Not everyone experiences a traumatic divorce, but it can be a deeply unsettling life event for many for a number of reasons. The end of a relationship and dreams of the future can abruptly end, leading to a sense of loss and intense grief. Anger, sadness, guilt, and anxiety are all common during a divorce. These can all feel very overwhelming and be difficult to manage. 

Signs that you may be experiencing trauma from your divorce include: 

  • Nightmares 
  • Avoidance 
  • Emotional volatility 
  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions 
  • Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks 
  • Increased use of alcohol of drugs 
  • Feeling emotionally numb or detached 
  • Headaches 
  • Feeling constantly on edge 

This list is not exhaustive, and everyone experiences trauma differently. It’s important to seek help, especially if your divorce is impacting your daily life. 

How to Cope With Getting a Divorce

Healing from a divorce and coping with the process of a divorce takes time and patience. Individuals going through a divorce may experience anxiety, isolation, depression, self-esteem issues, or other distress. 

Some strategies to help you cope include: 

  • Process your feelings, acknowledge how you feel, and express yourself. 
  • Develop healthy coping skills and mechanisms to manage your emotions. 
  • Prioritize self-care and create a routine to provide a sense of comfort. 
  • Avoid isolating yourself; instead lean on your support system. 
  • Focus on the positive, set goals, and look to the future. 
  • Consider therapy during and after to navigate a difficult life change like divorce. 

Post-Divorce Trauma and PTSD

Unfortunately, divorce can be an incredibly stressful and sometimes traumatic experience. For some, it can lead to symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). 

Symptoms of post-divorce trauma include: 

  • Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks: Reliving arguments, fights, or other times from the marriage.
  • Emotional volatility: Experiencing intense anger, sadness, anxiety, or guilt.
  • Avoidance: Avoiding places, people, or things associated with your ex-partner or the marriage.
  • Difficulty trusting others: This can be especially pronounced if betrayal was a factor in the divorce.

Other symptoms can include: 

  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
  • Changes in sleep patterns or appetite
  • Feeling emotionally numb or detached
  • Increased use of alcohol or drugs 

Factors such as a high-conflict divorce, childhood trauma, loss, and a lack of support can increase the risk of trauma. But there is absolutely hope. Therapy, support groups, and self-compassion can help you to cope, heal, and build a brighter future.

How a Therapist Can Help With Divorce

A divorce can be complex and take you on an emotional journey. A licensed mental health professional can help provide support and guidance to individuals and couples. 

Here’s how divorce therapists at Thriving Center of Psych can help: 

  • Processing Emotions: Therapists create a safe space for openly talking about how you feel. They can help you understand why you might feel the way you do and begin to process your emotions.  
  • Coping Mechanisms: They can teach healthy coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness techniques, to help you manage your emotions. 
  • Communication: A therapist can help improve communication skills. Good communication is important even during a divorce, especially if kids are involved. 
  • Co-Parenting Strategies: A therapist can help you to navigate the challenges of co-parenting. 
  • Moving Forward: A therapist can help you move forward, find strength, improve self-esteem and look to the future. 

The best type of therapy and approach in divorce counseling will depend on your situation. 

  • Individual Therapy: The most common form of therapy used in divorce counseling as each individual can process their emotions independently. Therapy will focus on individual needs and goals. 
  • Couples Therapy: While less common in divorce, couples therapy may be beneficial in certain situations. For instance, if you’re trying to establish healthy co-parenting communication and boundaries. 
  • Family Therapy: If children are involved in the separation, then family therapy may be beneficial helping the kids to adjust and reducing parental conflict around the children. 

When to Contact a Qualified Therapist

If you’re struggling to cope with challenging emotions or having trouble sleeping or concentrating, these are signs that contacting a qualified therapist could be beneficial. But the reality is that you don’t need to feel any specific way before reaching out for help. Don’t go through divorce alone. Therapy empowers you to navigate the emotional complexities and emerge stronger.

Our therapists understand the unique challenges of divorce. Take charge of your emotional well-being. Schedule an appointment today.