How to Explain Depression to Someone You Love

Despite depression touching the lives of millions of people, depression can be tough to talk about. With so many misconceptions about depression, it can be frustrating and overwhelming to explain. If you do choose to talk about your experience with depression, here are some tips for discussing symptoms, treatment options, recovery, and myths. 

Understanding Depression

Depression is more than feeling a bit down or sad; it’s a severe mental health disorder that can completely derail a person’s life. Many people go through some periods of feeling low, but clinical depression is ongoing and persistent sadness for weeks or even months. 

Sadness is a reaction to loss or a difficult situation and is a normal human emotion. Depression can arise for no apparent reason. It can affect how you think about yourself, the world around you, and every aspect of your life. Depression is a real illness that brings physical and mental symptoms. By understanding depression, we can spread the message that it is treatable and recovery is possible. 

Why Explaining Depression Matters

Depression can affect anyone regardless of background, gender, or age and is the most common mental health disorder. One study found that the risk of suicide in people with major depression is 20 times more than in the general population. 

Mental health is just as important as physical health, but it can be more difficult to understand. Talking about depression is essential for a few reasons: 

• Increasing your understanding of depression means you can help spot symptoms in a loved one and encourage them to get the help they need. 
• Talking about depression can be helpful during recovery and make someone feel less alone. 
• Encouraging open conversation about mental health could help someone seek professional help. 

If you’re living with depression, explaining how you feel can help a loved one understand what’s happening, how you’re feeling, and how they can help you.

Preparing for the Conversation

As you prepare to speak to a loved one about depression, write down some notes to help navigate the conversation. If you’re talking to someone who doesn’t know anything about depression, has never been depressed, or doesn’t know anyone with depression, try to keep it simple and not overcomplicate it. Start with basic information like talking about the different types of depression, their symptoms, and how it impacts you. 

For instance, you can say that depression is a common yet serious mood disorder that causes ongoing and persistent sadness. It affects how you think, feel, and behave. You can describe the symptoms you experience and how it affects you. 

Throughout the conversation, continue to emphasize that depression is a medical condition that can affect people differently. It can be difficult for someone who has never experienced depression to understand how all-encompassing and debilitating depression can be. However, having these conversations is still important so a loved one can know how they can help and support you. 

Using Simple, Clear Language

Depression is more than feeling sad, and putting how you feel into words can feel like a challenge in itself. Even the thought of attempting to define your experience of depression can feel like an overwhelming task. So, take your time and stick to straightforward and clear language. Avoid using overly complex or scientific terms and try to focus on how depression affects you and that’s it a mental health condition. 

When speaking to family members or friends, try to describe your personal experience with depression. For many, that can include feelings of worthlessness, chronic sadness, and losing interest in activities you previously enjoyed. 

People often use metaphors or analogies to explain depression, which is helpful as it puts very abstract concepts into easy-to-understand terms. The idea is that these types of phrases can simplify depression to make it easier to understand, but by no means do they fully explain the depths of what someone is going through. Phrases that can be useful include: 

• Depression is a rollercoaster.  
• Depression is a dark cloud that hangs over your head.
• Depression is like carrying a heavy backpack all the time. 

Sharing Personal Experiences

As you explain depression, try to talk about your personal experience. Describe what depression feels like for you. Focus on how depression impacts your life and what that looks like, such as: 

• Work: Talk about how your work productivity is affected by depression. 
• Relationships: Depression can put a massive strain on relationships. People with depression can lose interest in activities they previously enjoyed. 
• Physical Health: Tiredness, changes in appetite, aches and pains, and insomnia can all be symptoms of depression. 
• Daily Activities: Share how simple tasks like brushing your teeth and making breakfast can feel impossible. 

Addressing Misconceptions

Depression affects millions of people all over the world, yet there are still myths and misconceptions surrounding depression. Addressing these misconceptions helps to combat stigma and separate the facts. 

Misconception #1: Depression is just feeling sad.

Reality: Depression is a serious mental health disorder with ongoing sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed. It’s more than just feeling down.   

Misconception #2: Only certain people get depressed.

Reality: Depression can affect anyone, regardless of age, gender, or background. 

Misconception #3: You can just “snap out of it.”

Reality: Depression often requires professional help and treatment. It’s not something you can simply overcome with willpower. 

Talking About Symptoms

Write down your feelings and the symptoms you’re experiencing to explain depression. Depression can cause a range of symptoms, including: 

Emotional symptoms:

• Persistent sadness, hopelessness, or emptiness
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Irritability
• Anxiety or restlessness
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed

Physical symptoms:

• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Changes in appetite (increased or decreased)
• Sleep disturbances (insomnia or sleeping too much)
• Physical aches and pains
• Slowed thinking or speech
• Weight loss or weight gain 

Cognitive symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions
• Negative thoughts or pessimistic thinking
• Thoughts of death or suicide

Explaining How They Can Help

Sometimes, a loved one doesn’t know how to help, so try to be clear about the type of help you want. Do they need help getting to therapy or reminding them to take their medication for depression? 

Treatment for depression can include therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy and medication. Whether you choose to take medication for depression is a personal choice and a conversation to have with your doctor. 

Other ways a loved one can help you could include: 

• Running errands
• Going grocery shopping 
• Spending time with you 
• Doing some chores around the house 
• Listening to you vent or cry 
• Planning an activity that gets you out of the house 
• Calling to check in every week 

Setting Realistic Expectations

Managing depression can require several strategies, including self-care, professional treatment, and social support. The road to recovery has ups and downs, so it’s important to be realistic about what that can look like. Share educational resources for your loved one to read and increase their understanding. The Mental Health America website is a good place to start learning about depression. 

Handling Negative Reactions

If you feel like the conversation isn’t going well at any time, have an escape plan. It could be that you’re unsure what to say or experiencing a negative reaction from a loved one. Perhaps a loved one is being judgmental or overly pushy. Try not to take it personally and continue to use plain and simple language to explain depression. The likelihood is that they care a lot but just don’t understand your situation and how to help. 

Be patient and share your challenges with a trusted friend or family member. This is something you can practice with your therapist, and remember to only talk about depression when you feel ready.  

Encouraging Open Communication

Encourage your loved one to be open and ask questions if they have any. Maybe they want to know the specific errands they could do to help you or how they could help you stick to your depression treatment. If you can encourage and welcome questions, they can increase their understanding and address misconceptions about depression. 

Remember that it’s still perfectly acceptable to set boundaries when discussing how you’re feeling and to pause the conversation if you’re uncomfortable. 

When to Contact Thriving Center of Psychology

If you or someone you love is struggling with depression or experiencing persistent sadness, it’s essential to speak with a mental health professional. Contact Thriving Center of Psych to schedule a consultation with one of our caring and compassionate therapists.