Coping with Family Stress Around the Holidays

If you’re feeling nervous about the family get-together around the holidays, you’re not alone. While the festive season can be a time to spend with loved ones, family dynamics can bring more stress than you would like. Dodging questions about politics or relationships while dealing with difficult relatives can take a toll. But there are some strategies you can implement to make the holidays a more enjoyable time with less family stress. 

Understanding Holiday Stress

Did you know that 63% of Americans find the holidays more stressful than the tax season? Many people have a hard time prioritizing healthy habits like sleep, healthy eating, and exercise. A large portion of people take weeks to de-stress following the holidays. The pressure to have a perfect holiday is stressful, and there’s no denying that the festive season can create a lot of stress; here’s why:

• Financial strain 
• Unrealistic expectations 
• Family conflict 
• Loneliness
• Health concerns 
• Work-related stress
• Busy social calendar 
• Social anxiety 
• Lack of sleep 
• Over-indulging 
• Parenting challenges 

The impact of stress on mental and physical health is no joke. Stress can lead to headaches, muscle tension, sleep disturbances, difficulty concentrating, anxiety, and more. It’s normal to experience holiday stress, but if you choose to spend time with family who do stress you out, it’s important to prepare yourself. 

How Family Dynamics Affect You

All families are different, with their own routines, traditions, and experiences. Family dynamics are the interplay of relationships within the family unit. Positive family relationships and dynamics, with open communication between family members, mutual respect, and emotional support, create an environment that fosters higher self-esteem and better social skills. 

Negative family dynamics marked by conflict, neglect, or abuse may increase the risk of mental health issues and impact social development. Family dynamics can affect your mood but also strongly influence how you see yourself and the world. 

Setting Healthy Boundaries

When it comes to family, it’s not always black and white. Many people don’t want to cut off family entirely, but there is stress and tension around spending time together for one reason or another. Maybe it’s an aunt who keeps asking when you’re going to get married or a father-in-law who can’t keep politics off the conversation as you sit down for dinner. 

Healthy boundaries are a type of self-care as they help to protect your well-being. Around the holidays, you can implement a number of boundaries that can help to reduce tension, avoid overcommitting to events, and generally preserve your relationships. 

Healthy boundaries could include the following: 

• Set the amount of time you’re willing to commit to an event and stick with it. 
• Have a budget for spending on presents so you don’t overstretch your finances.
• Choose the family activities you want to attend, but you don’t have to go to everything. 
• Practice assertiveness and politely decline conversations that stress you out. 

Managing Stress and Anxiety

It’s normal to experience​​ a rollercoaster of emotions, with nine in ten Americans finding the holiday season joyous and overwhelming. 

An important part of coping with family stress around the holidays is learning to manage stress and anxiety. Stress management techniques are the things you can do to help de-stress. For some, it’s going for a run, baking, or heading to a relaxing yoga class. Here are some tips for managing stress and anxiety: 

• Prioritize sleep, healthy eating, and regular exercise. 
• Practice mindfulness and deep breathing exercises. 
• Say no, and don’t overcommit yourself over the festive season. 
• Try to simplify travel and avoid spending too much time driving or traveling. 
• Avoid impulse purchases and manage finances wisely. 
• Speak to a mental health professional if you need extra help. 

Effective Communication Tips

Good and effective communication within the family can help set expectations and allow everyone to express their feelings. This is especially useful when talking about a difficult topic. Clear communication helps to reduce future conflicts from happening. 

To try to keep the peace during the holidays, here are some tips for healthier communication for a more positive family life: 

• Be empathetic and understanding 
• Practice active listening 
• Remain assertive but considerate 
• Maintain eye contact to show you’re listening 
• Avoid being judgmental and be patient 
• Treat each other with respect and kindness 

Balancing Expectations and Well-Being

You don’t have to agree with everything your family says and thinks; you can disagree or challenge openly or keep your thoughts to yourself. If you feel overwhelmed by stress during the holidays, take a step back and think about what’s really important to you. 

Putting yourself first and protecting your well-being isn’t selfish. Manage your expectations and communicate them to your family. How much time do you have to commit to social events, cooking, or shopping for gifts? There’s an unrealistic expectation that the holidays should be a perfect and magical time, which can contribute to pressure and stress during the festive season. 

Self-Care for the Holidays

Self-care supports your mental, emotional, and physical health. Looking after your well-being can strengthen your ability to handle stressful events and manage family stress. 

Try these self-care tips for the holidays: 

• Write in a gratitude journal
• Share responsibilities and tasks with others. 
• Take a break when you need it to recharge. 
• Spend quality time with the people you love. 
• Try to prioritize sleep and healthy eating. 
• Set limits on alcohol at events if you feel you need to. 

Coping with Grief During the Holidays

Whether you have recently experienced grief or not, the holidays are often reminders of the people we miss in our lives. The festive season can be an incredibly tough time for many, bringing up a lot of negative emotions like sadness, loss, and anxiety. The holidays often focus on families, friends, loved ones, and the memories from this time. 

Grief is incredibly complex, and coping with it can look very different from one individual to another. Try to be honest with how you feel and have conversations about grief, as it’s a part of life. 

Consider adding traditions or ways to honor a loved one that feels authentic to you. The loss of a loved one can be gut-wrenching any time of the year, but the emphasis on traditions and happy memories can magnify those feelings. While grieving is a normal process, if you’re struggling or just need to talk, contact Thriving Center of Psych. 

When to Contact Thriving Center of Psychology

There are times when seeing a therapist may be beneficial. If you’re struggling to manage stress and it’s impacting your daily life, then speaking with a mental health professional may offer long-term benefits. If you or your family are dealing with any other following, it could be a good time to speak with a therapist: 

• Experienced a traumatic event
• Feeling overwhelmed 
• Communication breakdown in the family 
• Struggling to cope with a sudden change 
• The death of a loved 
• Having relationship issues 

Family therapy can be a valuable tool for helping the family navigate holiday stress, strengthen family bonds, and improve communication. Different types of family therapy include family systems therapy and cognitive behavioral family therapy. If you’re struggling with anxiety and stress, individual therapy can offer personalized support, coping skills, and strategies for dealing with stress. 

If you’re not sure where to start, that’s completely normal. Thriving Center of Psych can help find the right therapist who’s the best fit for you, understands your unique situation, and is an expert in their respective fields. Contact Thriving Center of Psych today to start therapy today.