Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship can chip away at your well-being and happiness. Toxic partners can be manipulative and charming, making it difficult to recognize the signs that you’re in a toxic relationship. You deserve to be in a supportive and healthy relationship. Let’s dive into the signs of a toxic relationship so you can get the help you need.

Characteristics of a Toxic Relationship

At its core, a toxic relationship describes one where the negative aspects massively outweigh the positive. It ultimately erodes a person’s well-being. However, not all toxic relationships look the same, and the lived experience can differ. These relationships often develop gradually, making it difficult to pinpoint exactly when things turned unhealthy. Any relationship can be toxic, whether it’s a friend, family member, romantic partner, or someone else in your life. Here are some characteristics of a toxic relationship to look out for. 

Communication Breakdown

Healthy communication sets the foundation for any good relationship. It allows you to talk about your needs, listen, and work through problems. 

Communication problems can lead to misunderstandings and conflict, fueling resentment and getting in the way of solving problems. At the same time, a lack of communication can also be a symptom of a toxic relationship, especially if a partner is using manipulation tactics, controlling behavior, or withdrawing communication altogether. It’s difficult to maintain a healthy relationship without proper communication, and it can contribute to an emotionally draining cycle. 

Persistent Unhappiness

About 80% of Americans have experienced emotional abuse. It can be challenging to spot emotional abuse within a relationship. Still, if you feel constant sadness, it indicates an emotional drain or issue that needs to be addressed. Talking to a therapist or trusted friend can help you gain clarity and figure out if the relationship is healthy. 

Lack of Support

A lack of support in a relationship can be a red flag for several reasons. Supportive relationships make you feel connected and content. A lack of support can sabotage many aspects of a relationship, no matter the reason. 

Neglect and Manipulation

It’s not just adults who struggle; research shows that up to 19% of teens experience sexual or physical dating violence, and as many as 65% report being psychologically abused. 

Neglect and manipulation tactics are commonly used in toxic relationships. Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that makes a person question their own sanity and reality. For instance, a partner says, “You’re so sensitive! It was just a joke.” However, the joke was actually a very hurtful insult. If you notice manipulative behavior or neglect, seek support and reach out for help. 

Control and Dominance

Control and dominance can create an uneven power dynamic within a relationship. Controlling behavior can erode self-esteem, chip away at independence, and isolate you from friends and family. 

Don’t ignore controlling behavior; it’s a big red flag in a relationship. This can look like a partner who:

• Monitors your phone, computer, or social media activity.
• Gets jealous or possessive easily, controlling your contact with friends and family.
• Puts you down or belittles you, making you feel insecure.
• Dictates what you wear or how you spend your money 

While no relationship is perfect, control and dominance have no place in a healthy relationship. 

Feeling Unsafe or on Edge

Feeling unsafe or on edge is a strong indication of a toxic relationship. Signs of feeling unsafe or on edge include: 

• Constant anxiety 
• Walking on eggshells 
• Hypervigilance 
• Fear of conflict 
• Your gut is telling you something is wrong 

You should feel safe, supported, and respected in a relationship. If you find yourself constantly on edge or feel unsafe, it’s important to take a step back and make a change. Constant stress can affect mental health and overall well-being.  

If you are in immediate danger, seek emergency help. The National Domestic Violence Hotline on 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) offers confidential support and resources for victims of domestic violence, such as creating a safety plan to get out of an abusive relationship. 

Consistently Disrespected

A relationship built on disrespect can be a breeding ground for toxic behavior, negativity, and unhappiness. If a relationship becomes one-sided, it can feel like it’s all about your partner’s needs, neglecting yours. 

Signs of disrespect in a relationship include: 

• Ignoring your feelings
• Disregard for boundaries 
• Put-downs and sarcasm 
• Broken promises 
• Invalidation 
• Blaming 
• Accusations 

Often Taking the Blame

Blaming is another unhealthy dynamic, and it can be toxic for several reasons: 

• It blocks accountability and prevents the partner from taking responsibility for their own actions. 
• It breeds resentment, creating a negative cycle of blame and negativity. 
• It focuses on the past rather than on solutions for the present and future. 
• It gets in the way of open and honest communication. 

Isolated From Friends and Family

Isolation from friends and family is a tactic commonly seen in abusive relationships. Isolation typically occurs for control and power. Reducing a person’s support system and minimizing outside options can maintain the relationship and make it harder for someone to see the abuse clearly. 

When you don’t have friends and family to turn to, it can prevent you from confiding in trusted friends who may encourage you to leave. This can make you feel trapped with nowhere to turn. But you’re not alone. Consider reaching out to friends, joining a club, connecting with an online support group, or contacting a therapist. The Love is Respect website is another good resource for helping teens and young adults navigate healthy and unhealthy relationships. 

Unmet Needs

All humans have needs in a relationship, like affection, security, or autonomy. Occasionally, it’s normal to have unmet needs in a relationship. But it’s important to communicate and take steps to ensure that needs are met for both partners. However, in a potentially toxic situation, it may feel like only one partner’s needs matter, a partner may deliberately withhold affection, or there is no attempt to improve the situation. 

Diminished Self-Esteem

A healthy relationship should uplift and support you, but a toxic one can destroy your self-esteem. Constant criticism, jealousy, isolation from loved ones, or a continuous need for approval can erode your confidence and sense of self-worth over time. Being blamed for everything when it’s not your fault plants self-doubt and makes you question your own abilities and judgment. 

Contact Thriving Center of Psych

Spending time with a therapist can be a safe space to unpack the emotional baggage that comes with leaving a toxic relationship. You deserve to be in a relationship that fosters your growth and well-being. 

A therapist can help with processing emotions, setting boundaries, developing coping mechanisms, building self-esteem, and more. They can also help you improve communication, which can be helpful if you plan on having a conversation with a partner about leaving or establishing boundaries if safe to do so. 

If you’re unsure whether your relationship is healthy or if you’re considering leaving a toxic relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. The mental health experts at Thriving Center of Psychology can provide a safe space to discuss your concerns and develop a plan for moving forward. Book an appointment today!