Sustaining Love: What to Do When the Honeymoon Phase Fades

There’s nothing quite like that initial attraction and spark where you just can’t get enough of your partner. But as the months and years roll on, it’s normal for relationships to transition through stages, and dynamics can shift. The end of the honeymoon phase doesn’t need to be the end of excitement; you can reignite passion and get back to feeling connected with your partner. 

What Happens When the Honeymoon Phase Fades?

There is no set rule on how long the honeymoon phase lasts; it could last anywhere from a few weeks to six months to two years. Maybe you’re going from a vacation fling back into the real world. 

The honeymoon phase describes a stage of your relationship where everything feels new, and you experience lots of firsts together. There are high levels of attraction, lust, and laughter. While personal experiences differ, it’s typically a time when you feel like your beloved can do no wrong. 

Here are some things that may happen as the honeymoon phase fades: 

• Start to realize that the other person isn’t perfect 
• Pick up on traits or quirks that annoy you more than before 
• Day-to-day life starts to become a bit more normal 
• You begin to become more authentic with each other 
• You notice more ups and downs in the relationship 

Importance of Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life

The honeymoon phase feels intoxicating and captivating, but the end of the honeymoon phase doesn’t mean the end of the relationship. It can be a chance to create a deeper, long-lasting love. As responsibilities grow, whether it’s kids, work, or family commitments, it’s important to continue to nurture your relationship and keep the spark alive. Romance takes effort from all parties. 

Remember that every person and relationship is unique. For many people, a healthy sex life is important, but naturally, that can look different for each couple. 

Sex can be good for your health on an individual level and foster a sense of bonding and intimacy with your partner. 

Physical and mental benefits of a healthy sex life in a relationship include: 

• Reduce anxiety and stress
• Help to increase intimacy and promote sleep 
• Boost confidence and self-esteem 
• Feel more secure in your relationship 
• Feel more connected to your partner

Navigating the Post-Honeymoon Phase

As you enter into the post-honeymoon phase, the exciting feelings of newness can begin to fade, but you can still have fun and enjoy developing a deeper connection. 

You can keep the passion alive, learn to communicate more effectively, and navigate the ups and downs of being in a relationship. One study found that couples who have been together for 20 years report feeling even happier and more compatible than early on in their relationship. 

Practical Ways to Reignite Passion

Maybe that initial infatuation is starting to fade, or maybe you’re starting to see flaws that didn’t even bother you in the first few months. That’s completely normal. With effective communication, compassion, and positive interactions, you can build a strong and caring relationship that still has that passion and spark you fell for in the first place. 

There are so many reasons why you can start to lose passion in a relationship, such as: 

• Stop putting the effort in or spending quality time together  
• Real-life priorities can get in the way, like family, children, and work. 
• Things can become very comfortable and routine 
• Relationship dynamics can change
• Communication issues can make it hard to resolve problems 

The novelty of a new relationship and person can wear off, but you can rekindle passion, build connection, improve communication, and make an active effort to get some curiosity and excitement back. 

Here are some ways you can find that passion: 

• Don’t forget the little things like holding hands, hugging, and cuddling
• Schedule time to spend with your partner and let the tension build throughout the day
• Make your partner feel special with their favorite treat
• Say thank you and show your partner just how much you appreciate them
• Let go of resentment and work through any harboring grudges
• Plan a romantic date night at their favorite restaurant
• Schedule sex into your calendar 
• Change how you initiate sex and make sex a priority 
• Drop your partner a surprise message to brighten their day 
• Put phones away and focus on being present together 
• Show genuine interest in what’s happening in your partner’s life 

Relationships have their ups and downs, and it’s unrealistic to have 100% passion all of the time. Think about what your partner needs to feel connected and passionate, as this can look different for everyone. 

Balancing Emotional Intimacy and Routine

Change is inevitable, and relationship dynamics can shift. But embracing changes together and overcoming challenges can bring you closer together as a couple. 

When you feel safe, loved, and secure, it can lead to better physical intimacy. If you notice a lack of intimacy in your relationships, it can make you feel distant or distracted. 

When you move into the next stage of your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s a red flag. While it’s normal to fall into a routine with your partner, family, work, and life, you can still shake it up and balance that with time, where you do feel more connected. Whether that’s a surprise date night, a weekend away, or trying a new hobby together. 

Do you check in on your partner when they are out for the day? Are you excited to share your latest news from work? Or are you feeling complacent and maybe taken them for granted recently?

Relationships are complex, and being present and saying “thank you” goes a lot further than you probably realize. Build connection into your normal routine. This could be a long hug and kiss goodbye each morning before work, or maybe you cook dinner together once a week and have a glass of wine. 

Building Long-Term Love

So, what’s the secret to a long-lasting and happy relationship? 

Studies show that feeling known and supported is an important ingredient in a happy relationship. Both feeling known and knowing your partner are associated with higher relationship satisfaction. 

Long-lasting relationships often require more than an initial spark to stand the test of time. Mutual support and trust are crucial. Effective communication, compromise, and good conflict resolution are necessary for resolving issues and avoiding problems that could lead to resentment. 

Resentment can arise in even the most committed partners when anger or disappointment has the opportunity to run wild. Maybe you feel like you haven’t been treated fairly in the relationship. When resentment builds, it can lead to bitterness and slowly erode the foundation of a happy relationship. 

Contact Thriving Center of Psych

Sometimes, there’s no replacement for speaking with a couples therapist. If you find yourself stuck in the same argument, have difficulty communicating your needs, or need some help adjusting to a new change, couples therapy creates a safe space to explore how you feel. 

A relationship therapist can help you learn healthier ways to communicate, work through issues, and find ways to feel more connected and strengthen your bond. Therapy can help couples reconnect physically and emotionally and give you both a chance to explore why you may feel disconnected in the first place. 

Our incredible couples therapists are all experts in their respective fields with years of experience in helping couples. Find a couples therapist near you and book a consultation today.